Stylin' Sleepware

If matching Halloween pajamas isn't cool enough, these GLOW IN THE DARK! Many snaps to Lady Epiphany for the ultimate holiday pjs and extra snaps to Alec for asking if the "No Memory Card" message blinking on my camera's display was important...

Ends

Five years ago, I left my first "real" job in search of something different. The job had changed and I had changed and we were no longer the right fit for each other. Leaving was a hard decision to make but the right one. As a parting gift, my friends there gave me an amazing scotch whisky, a 1981 bottle of Blackadder Raw Cask. We cracked it open at a party just after I left and each time I've had a bit since, I think of them and all the fun we had over the years.

In leaving, I found a lot of things I was looking for and some things I never knew I wanted. It's taken me all of five years and several job bounces but I'm finally in the place I think I was hoping to find. I will always miss working with my friends. I like my coworkers now but they're not like family and I doubt they ever will be. I will always miss the fabulous collaborative spirit with which our team worked - my work now is done mainly on my own, a blessing and a curse. I will never miss the hours spent in my car, inching along the highway hoping for some sort of disaster that would disintegrate every vehicle on the road except for my own (I do miss stuck-in-traffic calls with Kara, though, and have had to suppress the urge to drive into rush now and again just to have the old excuse to phone...).

I've been contemplating the last bit of the Blackadder for several months now. It didn't seem right to finish the bottle without some sort of ceremony and none of the presenting occasions seemed suitable so the bottle has remained on our shelf, quietly biding. Next week, I will go in to my old place of work for the first time since I left. I haven't been avoiding the place but it's quite out of my way and there hasn't been any reason to go until now. So here I sit, with the last bit of Blackadder poured and marvelous tendrils of rich aroma wafting up to my nose from the desk. I'm going to reflect on the last five years as I enjoy the last drink, closing out an era. I wonder what the next such gift will mark in my life?

Girl's Night In

Last time I got to spend a night in NYC, I had five of my favorite friends along. We stayed in multi-room corner suites with astonishing views of the Statue of Liberty and Lower New York Bay. After some fabulous shopping, we dressed to the nines and rode to dinner in an elegant, new model stretch limosine. Heaven!

Back in the city again, I find myself alone and in less resplendant (although still very nice) digs, with a view of the other side of 28th Street. I did squeeze in some shopping, although I doubt the memory of purchasing a lint brush will make me smile as often as remembering when I found the totally cute pleated skirt. I've just completed my in-room "spa" service (Clinique skin calming moisture mask) and decadant nosh (Chips Ahoy & milk, bought in duane reade with the lint roller) and am now off to see about a bit of sleep since I can't seem to concentrate on the product information I'm supposed to be learning. Do you think people asking hard questions about the product will be as distracted by cookies as I seem to be? Perhaps I should get another box...

Saturday Night and Sunday Morning

What makes a good Saturday night?

* Friends to share your bucket of cars (favorite car can substitute for favorite yellow bear as thumbsucking friend, if necessary), carton of rocks, and Star Wars ride model with

* Ticklish Ghosts


* Cute baby to play with

What makes a good Sunday Morning?

* Mrs. Lady and Spiderpotatohead

Hockey Guys

The new skating sessions are underway! The kids are on a club team this time, with "home" and "away" sweaters. While I think Ross and Lars would make good linemates, they are on opposite teams...so, of course, they're after each other every chance they get. Little is white #14; Bug is blue #2:

Lars did manage to score on Ross once today, but he had to work hard to do it!

Mystery Mint

Lars: Zachary gave me a circle mint, a one what's white, at school today and I liked it really a lot!

Mama: A circle mint like an Altoid?

Lars: Not like an Altoid. It had a HOLE in the middle!

Ross: Ok... (thinking) OK! You had a LIFE SAVER! It was white and flat with a hole and it had words on it, right?

Lars: Yes! A hole! And bumps what were words!

Ross: (with all the satisfaction of a detective who has just sewn up a tough case) That was a LifeSaver. They are good!

Piratey Goodness

All good Dave Barry fans (and The Pirate Brethren) will know that September 19th be International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Best wishes and good fun t' all!

Relative Directions

Chris will tell you that I navigate the world by shopping malls and it's mostly true. I can generally only tell you which direction is North if I can coordinate in my head where I am with the brass and tile compass inlaid in the foyer floor of my junior high school which, even when I'm trolling around WNY, is pretty darned tough to do. I can sniff out a mall almost anywhere, though, and if I've been to one once, I can tell you where other stuff is relative to it. We lived in our last house for seven years and I could barely get in and out of town (although I could find the hat shop blindfolded). I've done very well with directions around this house because, I think, for all our deer and trees, we're just over a mile from the mall.

So you see, malls are a necessary part of life for me - and not just because they offer many fine ways for me to engage my shopping hobby. Still, I was distressed to learn that someone is mounting a plan to build a strip mall near our library. Who cares that he might put in a Starbucks that might open in time for me to get coffee before the train (the mall one isn't open until 7:30)? It would screw up traffic. It would draw even more people to this end of town, driving at top speed around our badly paved roads in search of a "shortcut". Plus, there's already a dreary strip mall around the corner from the proposed new location - if they want to add shops, they should clean up the one we already have.

Chris bored himself silly at the Township Planning Board meeting tonight (possibly out of a sense of civic duty but probably because he was shocked that I'd oppose a mall), to hear the real story. At the meeting, he was accused of being a reporter, a sycophant, and a mole planted in support of one of the lawyers (an accusation immediately declaimed by the lawyer). Toward the end of the meeting, after everyone else not seated on the plinth or attempting to win favor from those on high had left and it was readily apparent that nothing of substance would actually come out of the meeting, Chris was asked to ring in on the matters at hand...which had come down to the particulars of a Township Zoning Ordinance. Caught a bit off guard, he introduced himself as a concerned resident of the Township and gave a brief summary of his thoughts, which can be roughly translated to, "Since this is the only property in the Township of this Zoning Classification, and there is a proposal out to re-zone this property, it is a waste of all your time to argue over how to rewrite the ordinance of the current Zoning Classification." He did not add, "And my wife, Queen of All, thinks the strip mall idea is ludicrous," which I would have put in on my own behalf if I'd been the one to go to the meeting. Then again, he had that whole flatterer image to keep up...

Second Grade Speed Dating

The assignment is to write a biography of the person who sits next to you in class. Directions are given in three parts; write a list of interview questions, conduct a telephone interview, construct an article about your classmate that will serve to introduce her to the rest of the class. It's a neat way of getting to know the other kids and a creative way of introducing multi-part research assignments. Here's Ross, having done his list of questions, making the interview call:


She likes karate, art and music, has three siblings and likes to vacation in Florida, Texas, and Mexico. Her favorite food is macaroni. He likes hockey and gym, has one brother, was born on Groundhog Day and likes to eat spinach. From our end of the call, it sounded just like a speed date.

More on Food

After a day full of dreary rain, the neighborhood kids gathered for a twilight romp session before dinner, yelling through the yards as they ran out the energy they'd not used all day. Nothing would get them into the house for dinner, until Chris thought of broadcasting the menu to the yard. Two quick rings of the cow bell on our porch and "WILD MUSHROOM RISOTTO" boomed through the woods.

A small, blonde head appeared from nowhere. "My favorite wild mushroom risotto? The one what has the rice? And the wild mushrooms?" Lars was in. Ross allowed himself to be herded when I offered to let him set the table with good china. My kids are weird but wonderful and dinner was fabulous.

Burns

Burns in our house are treats, not tragedies. Burns, as applied here, mean food that's been cooked just a little too long. Carmelized bits of lemony garlic from the bottom of a roasting pan, crisped edges of cookies, golden cheese on oven toast. Burns are sought after and relished most by Lars, who will offer up great behavior on the hope of an overdone cookie. Clearly, he is related to my mother who taught me to automatically add ten minutes to cookie baking times and who owns a toaster oven just so she can finish off brownies right before eating them.

Ankle week

At the end of June, Ross had a funky rash on one leg. As we were bound for a week on the left coast, we got him in to the doc right away in case he had something horrible that would prevent him (or us) from having a good time on vacation. The doctor examined the leg with interest but came up blank on what it might be. We were told to watch it for a few days and bring him back in if it spread or just wouldn't go away. When I said we were getting on a plane the next day, we got a tube of antiviral cream and told to keep all the spots covered. Armed with a box of band-aids and the cream, we took off. I made Ross wear pants to fly, as I worried they'd keep him off the plane fearing contagion if they saw 23 band-aids all over his legs. By the time we got to the hotel that night, we were up to 34. Ack! We found a drug store and stocked up on large bandaids for mass coverage and gauze & tape for the night. Even though it didn't seem to make a difference at all, we creamed and covered with vigilance and waited for his legs to recover or fall off. Nothing happened for days...and then he scabbed breifly and then it was over. Weird.

Last weekend, I told Ross a few too many times not to scratch himself THERE in public and finally wrangled him into a bathroom to see what was really up. Bug bites, two, on his upper thigh - poor kid! I borrowed some anti-itch and no more was said.

Tonight, Chris called me upstairs while he was herding the kids through their showers and pointed at Ross' ankle, which was blistered in a funny line. Not bug bites. The evil rash! All over his legs! AGAIN! ugh. And then, Chris said something about poison ivy and I realized I don't know what a poison ivy rash looks like - I don't get one. So, I Googled "poison ivy rash" and there it was, Ross' rash, all over the web. Duh!

Sasquatch

I know his foot is in a shoe and mine is not...but he's five.

Logical Succession

As we were compelled to empty the basement for the waterproofing work, it seemed a good time to take stock of what was actually down there and possibly cull the herd a bit. Lady Epiphany & family helped out immensely by getting their township to host a town-wide yard sale, so we filtered items into three piles, scrap, keep, and hope-to-sell (hts). Scrap and hts seemed to be the biggest piles, so there's a bit of a chance we'll actually have some elbow room in the basement even after we can move things back in. We dragged the hts pile over to the next town and enjoyed modest success at the yard sale Saturday, coming home with a bit of cash even after substantial investments in beer and coffee.

Things I've determined are necessary for a good yard sale:

1. Friends. Having a yard sale on your own is just not as much fun.
2. Beer. Having a yard sale without is just silly.
3. Firemen. Isn't everything better with firemen around?

Things every yard sale should have but which will never sell:

1. A lawnmower for $1. It even works - the price was clearly too low.
2. A Nordic Trak. Nobody wants such a heavy drycleaning stand.
3. An overpriced antique doll's high chair. It annoys pesky neighbors.

On Sunday, we celebrated Lauren's fourth birthday with the all-for-nothing end bit of the yard sale (still no takers for the lawnmower or Nordic Trak), a lot of coffee, some beer, some family, some friends, good food, a load of presents (good thing a bunch of toys sold off at the yard sale!), and ice-cream cake. The kids all ran themselves silly and fell asleep as soon as we got them near their beds (well, mine did, at least). In all, a great weekend!

Door Number Two

Our basement, before full-scale waterproofing, which will save the footings of our house from becoming completely waterlogged and collasping on us all. It doesn't look so bad, does it? I mean, the house is 86 years old and the spidery 'Christmas tree cracks' with water coming right in through the wall is only in a couple of corners...:


The work crew was fantastic! Each man was polite, well mannered, good humored, professional and efficient. When they arrived, each man introduced himself to us by name, offering his position if he had a distinct one or pointing out the man in charge. In the days they were here, there wasn't a moment when we didn't know exactly what they were doing, as they took care to review the process before starting a new bit and to ask us questions or let us know along the way if the plan changed. They were mindful of the kids and would hold the work or make a clear, safe path whenever any of us wanted to come into the work area for a peek. Despite the fact that we showed them our bathroom and offered open invitation to use it as necessary, they knocked and asked each time before coming into the living part of the house. If they worked in an area, they left it neat as a pin when they were done with anything they'd displaced put back and cleaned. As they were heading to the trucks to leave, one man was sweeping our front walk as he went. The others were good naturedly teasing him - he's apparently the lead neat-freak - but they all pitch in. Clearly the best work crew we've ever had!

During the Work:


After (so far - it'll be 30-45 days before the installation cures and we can paint):



...Somewhere, Monty Hall is visibly disappointed that I got a basement drainage system, complete with two sump pumps and a zillion little base-filled holes to force acidic water out of the foundation walls instead of the Beautiful New Kitchen behind Curtain Number Three.

The Peanut Note

Day 2 brought the first 'peanuts kill' note, this year in duplicate (one from each kid). Also, this tidbit:

Mama: So, Little, did your teacher read a story to your class today?

Lars: Yes! She read us the BIGGEST BOOK EVER! It was SO HUGE!

Mama: Really? Cool! What was it called?

Lars: "Peanut Butter & Jelly"

Mama: Oh? I didn't think that one would be allowed...

Lars: Mama, it's JUST a BOOK. Not a real peanut. Just a book. So, it's ok - we didn't have to wash.

First Day of School, '06 - '07

Ross, ready for the morning bus to second grade; Lars, ready much too early for the afternoon bus to kindergarten:


Finally! Lars and our neighbor waiting for the afternoon bus (neighbor's little sister attending):

At last! Lars boarding his very first school bus:
Ross and Lars have the same bus coming home:

Street gang (aptly titled, "Future Prom Dates" by the fathers and "Future Prom Disaster" by all the mothers...)

Mid-day hooray

Bibliofilly's coming over for lunch! At least I think that's what she said. It's hard to have a phone call with three power hammers going in the house...

Update, 9pm: It's been my habit to serve something wacky for lunch when Bibliofilly comes over. I'm not sure quite why it got started but it's fun and so, when I have time to plan, I'll make something adventurous. Her welcome call today ("save me!") came in the midst of great goings on here - it's the first day of school and we're having major excavation work in the basement - so, while I've been missing her, I haven't been sitting around dreaming up menus. When she arrived, we cracked open some beer and looked in the cupboard. Lo and behold, a perfect solution was just waiting! My mom went to Japan this year and sent us a packet of Japanese noodles and sauce, the package of which is decorated with cherry trees in full blossom. Chris and I have been meaning to try them but hadn't yet, so there they sat, a perfect adventure dish!

Pink noodles! Instructions entirely written in Japanese...

We made some educated guesses about how one might prepare the dish:


We applied the sauce directly to the noodles:


First tastes were tentative, but everyone enjoyed the meal! We decided couldn't pinpoint the flavors in the sauce, but speculated it was miso based; it didn't taste quite like a straight soy sauce. We also thought there might be something sea-related...not fish, exactly, possibly seaweed? I've saved the wrapper and will ask my mom's Japanese penpal, who will visit us in October, to translate so we'll know what we ate. :)

"Mama, take a picture of my Big Silly Face."

Digging for Dinos

After four days of rainy weather, today dawned bright and mild and we got the kids outside right after breakfast. It's too wet to play in the woods, so they're paleontologists, excavating on the wilds of our deck. Lars is unearthing a sabre-toothed tiger and Ross is working on digging out a velociraptor. Their banter is a mix of jargon from adventure stories - they are making "very important discoveries" and finding things "previously unknown to man" - it's hard for me not to giggle but they're so grave and serious about their work that it would be really rude of me.Later, we'll take a pile of things for a garage sale over to Lady Epiphany's (in preparation for having our basement dug up next week) and will celebrate the good weather by grilling. I'm off to load cars, make cookies, and see the next Very Important Discovery which, I'm just told, is the Lower Jaw of An Ancient Creature!

Peaches, Plans, and Good Teacher Vibes

One of our neighbors went peach picking and gifted us a large bag of peaches today! If the rain ever lets up and the humidity gets reasonable, I'll turn a bunch of them into peach pie. If not, I may take Ging's lead and take a stab at canning.

Ross has started making his own plans with his friends. It's amusing and heartbreaking at once; they frequently wind up spending an hour or two in their own houses, each waiting for the other to appear at the door. I know he's a boy, but I fervently hope he'll get better at making and executing plans!

The new head of our PTO, a neighbor who had no idea what she was getting into when she agreed to run for the position, says the teacher Ross has been assigned for second grade is the teacher most requested by parents. She is apparently dynamic and quite well respected by students and parents alike. I will be SO thankful if this year goes well - heaven knows I won't live through another school year like the last one...

Obviously...

We've been reading a wonderful dragon tale at bedtime this year, the Inheritance series by Christopher Paolini. The story is filled with Dragons, magic, heroism, wonder, bravery, all the good stuff. Book 1, Eragon, was fantastic, so now we're on Book 2, Eldest.

Last night, a village in a remote part of the land was in trouble. Serious trouble, the sort it looked like they would not be able to handle on their own. Ross leapt to the edge of his bed, eyes wide, exclaiming, "They should get the Varden (resistance force - good guys)! Or call the Dragon Rider (hero)!"

As the story goes, the resistance force lives in a secret location - very few people outside of the force actually know where they are. Also, even if someone in the town knew where they were, the secret location is weeks away by horse and foot. The hero is, for the most part, still unknown to the kingdom at large and again, even if someone did know about him, his location is fairly random and unknown. When I pointed these facts out, Ross said in his best I'm-being-very-patient tone, "The dragon can fly there faster and it doesn't matter where the Dragon Rider is - they should just call him on his cell phone."

The Very First Thing

Anyone who's been to our house can appreciate our need to renovate the kitchen. It's not just ugly, it's as if someone found a bit of space and dragged in random cabinetry one day. The lower cabinets are not tacked to the wall at all, they're just standing on the floor. Pieces of formica countertop that almost fit rest atop them, held by gravity alone. Upper cabinets are fastened to the wall - just the plasterboard part...not to studs. There's a ragged hole in the ceiling where someone once punched through to get at the shower drain above. Rather than fix the hole, they put in a dropped ceiling. Probably the same person gave all the walls that he could see a single coat of paint. If you move any of the cabinets or counters (which happens everytime you bump into one), you see the unpainted parts. It's delightful. So, when we looked at this house to buy it, we agreed the very first thing we'd do is renovate the kitchen. Riiiiiiight.

In the two and a half years we've lived here, we've had mold remediation done twice (two separate areas), put on a new roof (rip-off/replace), installed a new furnace and hot water holding tank, upgraded our electrical service, replaced the original basement windows with glass block, moved a sliding glass door from the front to the back of the house (and rebuilt the wall where it was at first), refinished floors in the den and hallway, built a new banister for the main stairs, put in a new well pump and installed a new surge tank. You may notice the very first thing we were going to do is not on the list of what we've accomplished so far.

A few months ago, we evaluated our finances and decided we could take out a home equity loan. We'd still have to be careful about the process but we'd FINALLY be able to do the kitchen! I did some research and we selected a loan and went through the mountains of paperwork and eventually got to the part where they gave us a satisfying pile of cash, in exchange for some of our blood and rights to a portion of our house if we're ever carted away. $$$!!

Ecstatic, I sent notes out to the architect asking to finalize the plans. I dug out information we've been saving from contractors and lined up a list of suppliers we'll need to call. Once or twice each week, I log in to our account and admire the balance. Then I log in to my "kitchen" spreadsheet and force myself to observe the difference between the money we expect to need and the money we actually have. There will still be some financial dancing, but we can manage it and we'll be managing it in a wonderful kitchen!

And then, a very nice guy called Steve cut in to my happy-about-the-kitchen dance today. We asked Steve over to look at our basement, in preparation for the coming wet season. I had visions of a couple of guys painting a few vats of sealant down there, and then we'd do a nice fresh coat of paint over it all and there you go. I, it turns out, know nothing about basement sealing. I'll be getting a crash course next week, though, when Steve's gang come by to repair and waterproof the basement. When they're done, we'll have a fabulous drainage system, two sump pumps, a Zamboni drain, a chipmunk waterslide, and all the exterior cracks will have been sealed. Steve says it will take a few weeks to get totally dried out but once it does, we'll be able to finish the basement off with confidence. Oh, and the corner footings to the house won't be caving in, either. So, we won't have a glorious kitchen anytime soon...but at least the house will stay standing while we save up for it.

College Prep

Lunch discussion, over boxed mac-n-cheese and applesauce:

"What if there was a Rama* truck, like an ice-cream truck but full of Rama, that would come on our street?"

"And we'd see it and we'd get some money from Mama and then we'd run out and buy Rama! Right from the truck!"

"And then we'd eat it and go and get more Rama!"

"And the guy would say, 'Oh no! I'm out of Rama! I have to go to the grocery store - I'll be right back!'"

"That would be SO cool!"

*Rama = Ramen noodles, a current lunchtime love. Yellow is the favorite flavor, followed by red, with blue taking a distant third place. Chris won't allow pink into the house - apparently, even fake shrimp flavor comes under the ban.

As Lady Epiphany heads back to University for her first semester in a long time, she's reminding me of allllll the fun (orientation! tuition! dorms! fees!) I have to look forward to when my kids head off for college. Luckily, they won't go for another ten years, give or take. By then, maybe I'll have them prepared to face a bit more than just college food?

Worm Race

Though she seldom bends to peer pressure, my sister-in-law has gone and started a blog of her own, Worm Race. Have a peek, a smile, and post a comment (...or five)!

The Ants Come Marching Two by Two-hundred...

Each spring, we are visited by tiny ants in our kitchen. They come in somewhere behind the sink and are most frequently found on the counter beside the sink or in the dishwasher (how they get IN the dishwasher, I will never know...). We put down ant traps. We rinse dishes before stacking them in the dishwasher. We make sure all food is sealed away. Still, we have ants. Since it's the kitchen, we don't use ant spray but I have been known to zap them with Lysol now and again when I'm disinfecting the garbage container. Want to know what happens when you spray tiny kitchen ants with Lysol? They get wet. That's it. They continue on as they were, being ants, just wet and a little shiny for it. Recently, we've been using a line of bio-degradable, non-toxic cleaners around the house. I happened to be cleaning the counters one day and zapped a set of oncoming ants with the Method all-purpose spray I was holding. Want to know what happens when you zap tiny kitchen ants with bio-degradable, non-toxic, all-purpose cleaning spray? They drop dead. Instantly. The label says "not tested on animals," which leads me to believe the manufacturer might not know just how effective their all-purpose sprays (all three flavors) are at ant eradication. Think they'd want to know?

Someday (like today) her prince will come...

After years of waiting for Just The Right Guy, I'm happy to report that my sister might have found him! A recent trip to his home state allowed her to meet his family and spend a few days relaxing at their cottage. Her reports of the weekend are glowing (as is she!) and she's looking forward to seeing them all again in the fall. Woo-woo!!

*REAL* Money

We took the kids out to one of their favorite stores this afternoon, so they could choose something new to buy with their own money. Before going, I got each of them aside to count their spending money so we'd know how much they had. At seven, Ross is old enough to responsibly carry his own money, if he'd like. Still five, Lars doesn't get the option yet. After the reckoning and before we left the house, the boys compared amounts. Lars had more money overall but Ross had his in his pocket. Upon this discovery, Lars came to find me. He solomnly asked if he could be careful with his own money, too. Not the dollars, his real money - the circle kind.

Oh, for the innocent days when the circle kind was more important than paper or plastic!

Dam it! ...or... More on Chipmunks

At dinner:

"Can chipmunks chew through cement with their teeth?"

"I don't think so, no. Why?"

"Because I've been using the cement we keep under the Carriage Tree to build the dams."

"The Carriage Tree??"

"The one by the Bilco door. The one I sit in like a carriage."

"Oh! That tree. We keep cement under it?"

"Yes, and the round red rocks."

"Of course, with the round, red rocks. Our masonry supplies are very organized. Now, what's this about a dam?"

"Chipmunk dams. I build the chipmunk dams out of cement. It will keep them in their holes."

Parent Satisfaction

Our school district is getting a jump on the amazing heap of paperwork they send home during the first week of school by sending some of it to us in the mail two weeks ahead. The joy! Among the early arrivals is a "Parent Satisfaction Survey" which consists of ten multiple choice and five short essay questions that reminds me eerily of a Regent's exam. I'm filling out the form, with censorship advice from Chris. For example:

Do you feel that your children are safe in school? What steps do you feel may make our schools safer?

My answer: I feel my children are most threatened in school by the presence of potentially harmful substances such as peanuts (instruments of certain death) and berries (choking hazards). I feel that banning such substances from storage and use within a five mile radius of the school would be a strong step towards protecting our children from Darwinistic death.

Censored to: Yes.

How can the Board get people, without children in school, more involved?

My answer: More involved with what?

Censored with: an exasperated (or possibly strangled?) look.

What aspects of the School System provide you with the most satisfaction?

My answer: Summer vacation.

I think Chris would prefer that I refrain from actually submitting a response. Really! Don't ask if you don't want to know. 19 days until school begins and I'm already poised to cause trouble. I really, sincerely, did not want to be That Parent...

P.S. Jury is still out on whether the survey will be sent in.

Vacation, all I ever wanted...

There's nothing like a five year old with a camera for a new perspective on a familiar landscape.
It's that way...

Fossils on the point - still cool!

Are you supposed to eat what's on the menu? Or is the menu supposed to eat you?

Scuba-dooba-here we go-scuba!

Ice Cream! FROZEN Ice Cream!

Scheduled to arrive between 8:00am and 12:00pm on Monday, Refrigerator Repair Guy #4 appeared shortly after 1:00pm. At least he hit Monday. He glanced at the pile of parts sent here by previous repair guys, then pulled open the freezer. When the light didn't come on, he commented that he'd see if he had a new bulb in his truck. I told him not to bother - the lamp is fine; it just doesn't come on when the compressor is actually cooling because something in the switch freezes in the "off" position. I told him (as I've told all the other guys) that the freezer light coming on is the first sign of a defrost. He fiddled with the switch a bit, then disconnected it and disappeared to his truck, returning a while later with a new switch. He installed the new switch, explaining that the REAL problem we've been having is with the light. The switch had malfunctioned, keeping the light on even when the door was closed. The heat from the light was causing the compressor to overwork and eventually shut down to save itsself from burning out. Ummmm....sure. I must have looked pretty scary in my sincere effort not to say something I would regret in court, because he stopped talking about his light theory rather abruptly and turned his attention to the 36 pound pile of parts stacked up beside the fridge (28 lb compressor kit, two freezer drawer rails, 4 lb each). After a moment of consideration, he determined that he would go ahead and replace my compressor anyhow. And that he'd go ahead and install the new freezer drawer rails, too. Because they were here. And, possibly, because he realized that he might be twice my height and three times my weight but I would take him down if he didn't. Smart man. He spent the better part of three hours working on the fridge and I'm pleased to say that our fridge hasn't ever operated as quietly as it does now and, as a bonus, it's been keeping things cold for over 30 hours in a row! It hasn't done that since June! Chris bought ice cream today to celebrate and I'm off to get started on eating it...just in case.

Mailing Lists

For some years now, I have been recreationally tracing the path of various mailing lists - you know, trying to figure out which company has sold my contact information to some new catalog that arrives unbidden. I have a friend who used to sign up for each new thing using a different middle initial so he could figure it out more easily. I'm not that organized, but I do use a different form of my name and will include a company name or title if I'm subscribing to something work related...which is why I'm very curious about the path of a brochure that just arrived, addressed to my home name at my home address, no company name or title: Columbian TecTank, for fire protection water storage tanks. The kind I can rely on to safeguard my liquid petrochemicals and wastewater. It gets more confusing when you consider the fact that my work junk mail trail tends to be electrical device related. Wire, backboxes, watertight connectors, conduit bending tools...but all that stuff comes to my work name, with my company or title attached. Has L.L.Bean's or Pottery Barn joined up with an industrial liquid enclosures gang?

Current Tally

Number of spiders eliminated by myself: 9

• Number that gave chase: 1
• Number that made a horrible crunch: 2 (Location of crunchy spiders: Web-commune installed under the heels of my blue pumps. I wore blue Birkenstocks instead which was less unprofessional than having spider-shoe flashbacks during meetings (sorry, Buddha).)

Number of horrible (but pretty) beetles ruthlessly sprayed off the remains of the only two rose blooms we've had on the new red rose this year: 27

Number of kibbles Pixie missed her water dish with yesterday: 11

• Number of ants who found the cat food: 31
• Number who lived to tell their friends: 0 (For the record, Method spray cleaner (grapefruit or lavendar) works much better as an ant spray than Lysol. Method drops them in their tracks, Lysol just makes them wet.)

Number of days until the refrigerator is fixed: 4

Number of days until my boys get home: 3

Number of days until WTHS 2006: 1!!!!!!!!!!

Trade-offs

I get a week at home on my own!

Pro

1. House stays neat for 24 hours (or more!) in a row.
2. Pixie appears in more parts of the house than usual.
3. Quiet.
4. No bother about cooking.

Con

1. Squish all your own spiders, no matter how large or hairy.
2. Quiet.
3. No bother about cooking.
4. Miss my boys (all three).
5. Miss my boys.
6. Miss my boys.

Four Minutes

The repair man was here exactly four minutes. He listened to my description of the problem over the last few months (fully documented on notecards), collected the model and serial numbers off the refrigerator, and said he'll be back next Monday to install a new compressor. No garbage about my kids hanging on the freezer drawer and bending the rails (which are steel, weigh four pounds apiece, and cannot be bent by 116 lbs jumping on them while suspended - I tried). Not cooling? Funny clicking and rattling with no resulting motor noise? Fan still running? Total defrost? Your compressor's shot.

Thank you, thank you. That's what I said six weeks ago...but what do I know about refrigerators? Well, I know they're really nice to have around in the summer time. Maybe next year I'll get to experience that again!

Wild Thing

A helpful young hawk enjoying a chipmunk for dinner atop the dragon. We hope the chipmunk was very tasty so that the hawk will stick around to enjoy a few (dozen) more!

Headcount, 10:24pm

One down.

Two dozing.

Two wishing they were down or dozing.

Two raring to go!

Thank god neither of those two can drive.

Thanker god we keep cars with manual transmissions.

Drun,k paryt of 7

Most people shrink when their mother-in-law is about to arrive. I rejoice! It generally means a good time will be had by all and I wonder about how to make our visits more frequent. Things I have learned:

1. If it cools down 20 degrees in a day, you still should rdrink water.

2. Id it comes in a box, it's proabably not water.

2. Have I mentioned my in-alws are fun?

4. Cousins too - they can take the train from LIRR and get here in time to meet us at the station by the AAA stadium for dinner. And drinks before. A lot of drinks before. And probably after. I don't know yet butr I'm guessing...

5. Given the choice between going to bed and drinking iwth the rest of us, the kids will pick drinking the rest of us, every time.

6. Chris loves me a lot when rdrunk. (sobre too...)

7. And he looses his phone.

Sooooo...you want to keep something cold?

Two and a half years ago, we moved in to this house. Some of you may recall the hazy happy time we had moving, when we sold in September but couldn't get a new house until December? Well, in the four storage months, our then less than a year old refrigerator (from Sears) was left to rot - the movers spilled soda in the freezer part and then shut the door, thank you very much. A LOT of black stuff grows out of a puddle of sugar water in four months of darkness with limited air supply. A LOT. As I was not up to battling the black goo, we wrote it off (don't even talk to me about the hideous wrongness of the whole move...) and set out to get a new fridge.

On December 5th, we purchased the exact same model as the one that had rotted. They told us we could have it delivered on the 30th. Three weeks, plus the holiday. We slept on it and woke, determined to do better. We ventured over to a new store called The Great Indoors where we found a larger fridge that we liked better and that they could deliver a week sooner. Sign me up! Surprisingly, The Great Indoors turned out to be a Sears derivative and offered the same 12mos no payment/no interest deal if we used our Sears Card, which was great. They could also do the return on our first purchase without us having to go back to the original Sears store. Bonus! And so it was that on Christmas Eve, 2003 our refrigerator was delivered. I will never forget the date or the two weeks we went without a fridge, although it was December in the Northeast, so we were just using the back porch.

Flash forward a year. Our kids get a bit taller and more self-reliant and can open the fridge doors on their own. Every now and then, we find a door left ajar and, once, left hanging wiiiiiide open. Each time, we explained how important it is for the doors to stay Very Closed All The Time and life went on.

Once last year, the freezer door got left open (we think) and everything inside defrosted. We spent a day and a half cooking everything and a week consuming it. Frozen tartlet hors de vours! Pork chops! Chicken! Stew beef chunks! Corn! Peas! Anything not completely lost (ice cream, *sob*) was rendered into a meal or something that could become a meal. We didn't shop for about two weeks and it took a few months to stock the freezer up to my comfort point again.

In May of this year, the same thing happened. Pounds of meat suddenly needed to be cooked and consumed. Ice cream was a gloppy mess. Frozen fruit unfroze and spooged all over the freezer bottom. Totally delightful! (or not...)

In June, we finally ascertained that it's not the fault of the children leaving doors open and called Sears for a service appointment. They scheduled a date three weeks (!!) away saying they were totally booked and couldn't possibly do any better. On the day, their tech skipped the call and was another five days before they could squeeze us in on an "emergency" basis. The tech actually appeared for the second visit, said pish-tosh we don't have a compressor problem, just the rails for our drawer freezer are bent so the door isn't closing right. I was skeptical that a bad seal on the freezer could cause full disfunction of the entire refridgerator/freezer but he's the tech, right? He ordered us two new rails and showed us how to install them - an easy snap-in sort of thing. We paid him for the visit and the rails, which he said would be at our house in two days. Six days later, ONE rail showed up. Two days after that, I called parts to see when the second rail would get here.

Currently, we're in the fifth week of twice weekly thaws and I've stopped keeping anything truly perishable or likely to breed salmonella (100° and humid is not an optimal storage condition for, say, chicken). The third service call is still a week and a half away, the second rail still isn't here, and the supervisor of our regional service center greets me by name when my number flashes up on his caller ID.

Aside from all the regular reasons why this rots (literally), we have guests coming tomorrow. Hopefully they will appreciate not getting food poisoning more than they will not appreciate being served a variety of canned or boxed food where I'd ordinarily offer fresh. Did you know they still make powdered milk? I thought that went out in the '70s...

Things I learned today

Things I learned today:

1. How to make a conference call on my cell phone.

2. My cell phone gets hot when abused. Really hot, like I could cook an egg on it. Which I'm tempted to do because then, maybe, it would stop working and then people couldn't call and frustrate the )&*(^&* out of me.

3. There really is such a thing as "too hot to be naked," and it's happening here in case you'd like to check it out for yourself.

4. Buying a refrigerator from Sears is not a great idea. I'm not sure buying one from anyone else would be better, but I know for certain that Sears is astonishingly unhelpful when something goes wrong.

5. My kids actually are adorable and good! At least sometimes... :P