The repair man was here exactly four minutes. He listened to my description of the problem over the last few months (fully documented on notecards), collected the model and serial numbers off the refrigerator, and said he'll be back next Monday to install a new compressor. No garbage about my kids hanging on the freezer drawer and bending the rails (which are steel, weigh four pounds apiece, and cannot be bent by 116 lbs jumping on them while suspended - I tried). Not cooling? Funny clicking and rattling with no resulting motor noise? Fan still running? Total defrost? Your compressor's shot.
Thank you, thank you. That's what I said six weeks ago...but what do I know about refrigerators? Well, I know they're really nice to have around in the summer time. Maybe next year I'll get to experience that again!