Because I Always Come Home and Open the Oven

It is widely known that I am the Parent Most Likely to Curse In Front of the Children. Despite the fact that a defining moment in our early history revolves around a missed volleyball and my very loud and sailorish comment shouted in a yard full of Mormons, Chris schedules activities likely to cause cursing, like breaking the glass on our oven door, for times when I am not at home.

Chris and the boys had a guys' night last night, while I worked late in the city. They made 'Daddy Mac' (homemade baked macaroni & cheese), which bubbled over in the oven. Later, they had a few errands to run and Chris set the oven to clean as they left, thinking it would make a nice surprise for me to find when I got home. He thought I'd come home and head straight for the oven and when I found it clean (!), I'd be all, 'You cleaned the oven!' and he'd be all, 'Yes, I did!' and the evening would be marvy.

When they got back from their errands, Chris was dismayed to find the ashy post-cleaning residue all over the inside of the oven. His visions of homemaker triumph fading fast, he warned the kids that the oven was Still Very Hot, then spritzed the inside of the oven with kitchen spray cleaner to deal with the white residue. He'd turned around to grab a cloth to wipe up with when he heard a mighty crack, which reminded him that combining very hot glass with very cold cleaner is a very bad idea.

Were I the hero at this point in the story, I'd be teaching the children a few Very Bad Words. Chris narrowly avoided the use of profanity by announcing, "THE OVEN IS STILL VERY HOT," and I'm given to believe that we'll see a note (and possibly a social worker) if either of the kids mimics his inflection while they are at school.

What happened next? My wonderful husband, who cleaned the oven for me (squee!), simply closed the oven door - cold spray cleaner, ashy residue and all. By the time I got home, the whole incident had been forgotten and it wasn't remembered until tonight, as I was putting together a french toast casserole for tomorrow's post hockey breakfast. Anyone know if you can bake with three or four big cracks in the oven door glass?