Dear iPod Earphones Guy: Your music (ahem) was loud enough that you couldn't hear your singing - the rest of us on the train were not so lucky. Please give up singing for Lent.
Dear Woman Who Was Too Late to do Her Makeup at Home: waving the air after spraying your perfume did not dissipate the smell. Also? I really did not need to see you pluck your nosehair. Some grooming habits really should be kept private until after the wedding.
Dear Woman Who Carries a Perfume Spritzer in Her Purse: Spraying your scent in the direction of Ms. TLtdHMaH did not improve the situation, but thank you for not deciding to pluck anything.
Dear Very Loud Cellphone Guy: We are in the same industry. I've tried carrying my company bag logo-out so you'll notice but you're always on a call and looking at your hair in the window reflection. That job you were so worried about today? It's gone to your competition, who also rides our train. You might consider making important business strategy calls from a more private location.