22 February 2008

Too Late; or, Curse You Again, Fraukow!

9:33pm, e-mail from my sister: "...I just got home from the grocery store with cheddar jack Cheez-Its. ...because reading your blog made me want to try them!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I lunge for the phone, sending the cat flying off my lap and causing my husband to look up with grave concern. The call rings and rings on her end and I get agitated, wondering if she's ignoring the call because our house phone comes up as 'unlisted'. When her voicemail picks up, I slam down that phone and grab my cell, praying the dying battery will hold out for one more call. It rings and rings again but she answers and relief washes over me. "DON'T OPEN THE BOX," I shout down the line. Chris looks really worried.

"What? Whaaat," she answers, clearly startled.

"The Cheddar Jack Cheeez-Its! Don't open them," I say with urgency. Understanding washes over Chris' face and he looks a bit strained as he realizes what's going on.

"Oh," she says brightly, "I just had my first one!"

"I'm too late," I wail, and slump in my chair. Chris looks stricken.

"I've been reading about them in your blog and I went to the store hungry (which was a mistake but, you know...) and I had to look really hard for them! Did you know there are a LOT of different kinds of Cheez-Its now?"

"Well, there goes your new salary," I say.

A pause, "WHAT?" She sounds shocked.

"You'll be spending more on Cheddar Jack Cheez-Its than you know. Any money you have left will be for buying new pants - I swear I'm wearing at least three pounds of CJ Cheez-Its these days." She laughs. She thinks I'm kidding! How cute. I roll my eyes and Chris pours another bowl of Cheddar Jack Cheez-Its.

Sister K and I chat a while and, as we're wrapping up, I tease that I'll leave her alone to eat her box of Cheez-Its. "They are REALLY good," she says. "I mean, I thought how different could they really be, but these are REALLY GOOD! I snuck one while we were talking - I sort of sucked on it so I wouldn't crunch in your ear." Only two CJCI baked snack crackers in and already, she's hiding her use. The need for a CJCI 12-step program just nudged ahead of the need for a Webkinz program.


Sister K said...

yeah, and don't forget to add that i STARED at the open box while we talked and while you told me that Chris was downing the box...that's restraint :) i do think that you should really invest letters showering Starbuck's and CJ Cheeze-its with your brilliant stories of how good they are. i wanna see what kind of goodies they might shower your back with!

slouching mom said...


i haven't tried them yet.

i'm still safe.


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