02 November 2006

7:43am: Too Early for Poor Grammar

I have a Starbucks affliction. Actually, it's a coffee affliction...but Starbucks is a particularly gratifying way to satisfy it, especially if you say, "Triple grande latte for Karen," to the person in the green apron with the Sharpie and the stack of cups. If said person is also wearing blue tint glasses and manning the early morning line in the NYP station branch, I don't usually have to speak - a watery smile demonstrating my lack of caffeine is enough to get him writing my standard order on a cup and waving me toward the pastry case. This morning started off well enough - much too early but well all the same. Train mostly on time (despite rain), transfer uneventful, watery smile, apple fritter, swipe card, get GTL, grab a few napkins, head for subway.

Standing on the subway platform, I started to fold the napkins into my bag when I noticed they have a new design. It's light green print on unbleached recycled napkin stock, so you have to look closely to see what it says: Less napkins. More plants. More planet. Less napkins.

Less napkins? LESS? And did they have to write it twice? FEWER. FEWER NAPKINS. Less/fewer errors bother me even after I've had coffee but they turn out to be particularly annoying before coffee, in a subway station at 7:43am. It's almost enough to send me back to carrying cash for corner cart coffee.


Fraukow said...

oh you SO fit into this family!

Epiphany Alone said...

One morning, you will grab the unsuspecting barista's Sharpie and fix it.

"Hello, is this Karen's husband?"


"We have her in custody."

Heavy sigh. "Was it bad grammar again?"

"Yes, sir. You're going to have to come pick her up."

"This is the third time this week."

"Yes, sir. Please come quickly. She's ranting about the signs outside the holding pen."

"Oh bother."

Kathryn said...

yep, you're my sister! i sit reading my school notes wanting to edit them instead of studying them. the 's/s pluralizing mistakes drive me UP THE WALL (and last block they specifically told us to be careful not to do that and then the teachers this block filled the notes with these errors!)

But you should really check into being the spokesperson for Starbucks (like Jared or the Snapple lady). I think at the very least they owe you a healthy check for keeping their stock prices up :)


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