How to treat a splinter

"Dr. Mama! I have a splinter in my hand!"

"Come into the kitchen and I'll take it out - there's better light." [CLOMP-CLOMP-CLOMP] Lars appears in the doorway clad in shorts, t-shirt, and winter boots, a wooden sword stuck down the back of his shirt, Glubby (his yellow bear) dangling by a ribbon from one wrist. He sticks the splinter hand out toward me as he enters, then abruptly stops and yanks his hand back.

"Do you know what I need? To cool me and help with my splinter? And it's a big splinter, see?" He purposefully shows the heel of his hand but keeps it close to his chest.

"That is a pretty big splinter, Little. What do you need to cool you?" I manage not to snort and to keep a mostly somber face.

"Cake," he declares, eyes on the freshly baked good on the counter. "I need cake to cool me." I have to turn around so he can't see my face and hold my nose to keep from bursting out laughing!

Luckily, there's a portable phone sitting right in front of me. I pick it up and dial my mother, holding out the phone to Lars. "Here, ask Grandmoo about your cake," I say, and pick up the tweezers to deal with the splinter. There's a chance she'll agree with him but it's more likely that using the phone will distract him from the cake altogether (or at least until after dinner). The splinter is easy to remove and my mother is delighted by the call. She totally misunderstood what Lars had to say and he, as expected, forgot what he wanted to ask in the middle of all the explaining he was trying to do.

As soon as the splinter was out he shouted, "Goodbye! I love you! I have to go and fight the dragon!" down the phone and hung up, racing out of the kitchen to catch up with his brother in the yard. At the front door he paused and called, "Oh! Mama! Thank you for getting out the splinter!" The door slammed behind him and I heard the clomping on the porch get fainter and then louder again. "Oh and Mama," he said through the screen, "I even thank you even though you forgot to give me my cooling cake." I guess he didn't forget after all!