When Daddy's Away: Two Vignettes

"Awwww, why are we having a normal dinner? When you go away, Mama, Daddy makes us special dinners. Hot dogs!"

"That's because I don't like hot dogs much, so Daddy serves them when I'm not around."

"So?!? Serve a special dinner that Daddy doesn't like, since he's not home."

"Daddy doesn't like fish."

"Thanks for making us pasta, Mama!"

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"You need to finish the bottom four questions on your homework and then I'll quiz you on your spelling."

"I never do the bottom four. Daddy doesn't make me."

"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure he'll ask you to do them from now on."

"No, I mean I never do them and he doesn't check!"

"Oh! He doesn't check because he trusts that you do all your homework. He'll be disappointed to learn that you need to be checked all the time."

"Mama! Just don't tell him! Why do you check? I don't want to do it! AND WE DON'T NEED TO WORK ON SPELLING. I CAN SPELL ALL THE WORDS."

"Fine, spell 'Indiana'."

"I-N-D-(pause)-... I-N-D-A-N-A."

"Missouri."

"M-I-S-U-R-I-E"

"Maryland."

"M-A-R-R-Y-L-A-N-D"

"Louisiana."

"L-O-I-S-I-E-A-N-A"

"Illinois."

"I-L-L-O-N-I-S"

"Sit. For the record? You're right. You sure can spell all the words...you just can't spell any of them correctly."

"WHEN will Daddy be home?"

"Tomorrow. You can mangle the other 45 states for him then."

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