22 August 2008

How To Distract Boys Who Are Worried Their Kitten Will Die

During tonight's shower & get ready for bed extravaganza, the toilet was filled and not flushed and our kitten, an adventurous sort, leaped up to investigate. She slipped on some drips on the seat, though, and fell in. SPLASH! She immediately leaped out and began to lick her leg. EEEEEWWW! KIPPAH'S DRINKING PEE-PEE!

Chris, being of sound (if angry & frustrated) mind, picked the dripping kitten up and deposited her in our shower, where she could be enclosed for a nice wash. The children finally got their wits about them and fled to their beds, tearful that the kitten might be about to die. SHE DRANK PEE.

I washed the kitten. Then, as Chris hadn't been successful at calming the boys, I went in...with this:

"Drinking pee-pee is gross. It is disgusting and you should NOT do it, BUT...it will not kill you. In fact, if you are stranded on a sailboat on the ocean, you should drink your own pee-pee, you should not drink the salty ocean. If you are stranded in a sailboat on Lake Erie, though, drink Lake Erie - it's marginally better than your own pee. IF YOU ARE NOT STRANDED ON THE OCEAN IN A SAILBOAT, do not drink your own pee. Even though it won't kill you."

Lars tried to interject with a question, but I cut him off, "NO QUESTIONS. GO TO SLEEP."

Both boys seem to have forgotten their worry that the kitten might die.


cross posted at Worst.Mama.Ever.

10 comments:

bethany actually said...

HAHAHAHAHA...

I am going to print this post out, cut out that speech you gave the boys about the etiquette of drinking pee-pee, and stick it on my fridge. Awesome.

Sister K said...

HAHAHAHAHA....zoe gets curious on the toilet too but i threaten to toilet train her and shut the lid. she scoots off w/ pretty fast :) how did kippah fare with the shower!

Grandmoo said...

May as well contribute to their vocabulary:drinking pee pee has a name: Urophagia. Although generally safe since urine is usally sterile, a small risk is incurred if a URI exists or if disease exists (just in case they get the bright idea to try it). But all hope is not lost: since artificial sweeteners are excreted in the urine, you can give it a sweet taste if you eat artificial sweeteners first. While it might aid survival in a pinch when stranded in the ocean, it's not recommended in the desert since it further dehydrates due to the salt content. Finally, in countries such as India and China, it is considered normal by some groups to drink your own urine for health and cosmetic purposes and is even called "therapy." Finally, during the Renaissance, it was used as a tooth whitenr. This and much more can be found online, but believe it or not, I learned most of it listening to one of the more interesting lectures on PRI!(I like your version better than the radio version though; maybe you could add that if the boys are stranded in the ocean together they could take turns; one drinks the other's pee, the other eats the first's barf?)

SmockLady said...

I am going to copy bethany actually. These days, ANYTHING that makes me laugh is worth keeping!

delaneydiariesmama said...

I'm bookmarking this for later. No doubt I'll one day need to explain the merrits of drinking and not drinking pee...

Missy said...

to add to grandmoo, in some yogic traditions it is healthful to drink your own pee as it has various anti-bacterial and anti-viral properties. Specifically, the healthiest is to drink the 2nd third of your first morning pee. I've never tried it.... TMI, eh?

Grandmoo said...

Missy, they said that in the lecture, but if you can get bacteria from drinking it, how can it kill bacteria by drinking it? By then I wondered if it was all a joke!

Grandmoo said...

OOH!I read wrong; you drink the BACTERIA to kill the VIRUS...now THAT makes sense!

Stephanie said...

I totally have those moments where I think, "I absolutely never thought I would ever, ever, ever have a need for this conversation in my lifetime."

:) Hilarious.

Heather said...

Niiiiiiice! :) (I got here from the smocklady)

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